Archive for August, 2010

Why bother with a birth plan?

According to a new survey commissioned by the Birth Trauma Association, an alarming number of women count giving birth as one of the worst experiences of their lives.

Almost 70% of of the 600 women surveyed said they did not get the birth experience they wanted, and one-third of respondents said they were not treated with dignity and respect, or given proper information and / or explanations during labour.

Perhaps those likely to respond to a survey by the Birth Trauma Association aren’t going to be people with overwhelmingly positive experiences of giving birth, but whatever the facts behind those figures, they’re worrying, aren’t they?

I wonder if birth plans are to blame for some of these statistics? I’ve never really understood the emphasis placed on encouraging women to write birth plans. I get that it’s there to guide medical professionals concerning your preferences on matters like pain relief in the event that you’re less than lucid on the subject when the big day comes, but I wonder if birth plans in part set some women up for disappointment. Do they create false expectations? Encourage mothers to believe that what they ‘want’ can in any way influence what they ‘get’ when it comes to a birth experience? I’ve yet to meet a Mum whose experience of giving birth matched her birth plan to the letter, so why bother with one? Clearly birth plans were of little use to many of the Mums who responded to this survey.

The Birth Trauma Association made this comment in a press release: “Many cited ‘loss of control’ and ‘lack of communication’ as key factors in how they felt about their births afterwards. Some respondents said they felt ‘bullied’ or ‘harrassed’ by overstretched staff. Many felt ignored on the post-natal ward and said attempts to get an explanation for what went wrong were dismissed.”

Most Mums know that having a baby isn’t a consumer choice, and that making a decision about the kind of birth you hope for isn’t the same as choosing where to go on holiday. Surely the one thing an expectant Mum needs to know ahead of giving birth is that almost anything can happen, and that plans are exactly that – plans, which are famously unreliable and subject to last minute alterations. Nevertheless, it’s shocking that mothers encounter such negative experiences of giving birth in this day and age. On that basis I’d advocate drawing up a different kind of birth plan with whomever is likely to be present with you when you give birth – one in which you agree how you’ll both respond if you feel you aren’t being treated with dignity or respect, or aren’t getting the sort of care you deserve.

In the light of survey results like this, it’s understandable that many women opt to give birth in the comfort of their own home, where you can crawl into your own bed after giving birth and spend your first night snuggled up with your nearest and dearest. And yet the recent media fuss over the dangers associated with home births are enough to put you off that, too.

According to newspaper reports, Dannii Minogue opted to have a home birth for the recent arrival of her first child, but was rushed to hospital due to complications which arose during delivery. Dannii hasn’t commented on the story, and baby Ethan was apparently perfectly healthy on arrival, but those reports have kicked off lots of scare-mongering in the media about everything that can go wrong, no matter how or where you choose to give birth.

Enough. I’m no expert on giving birth, but I’ve done it twice and both times lived to tell the tale. Far from being the worst day of my life, my son’s births stand out as shining examples of some of the best moments a human can hope to have on earth. To what do I attribute the positive nature of those experiences? Mainly the fact that I felt calm and safe throughout. I remember being told at my NCT class about the way the hormones adrenalin and oxytocin work together during labour, the gist being that you need plenty of oxytocin for labour to progress, and that adrenalin inhibits the production of oxytocin. In other words, the very best thing you can do during labour is stay calm, thus letting oxytocin do its thing, and the very worst thing you can do is get stressed, or even over-excited. Maybe it’s just the placebo effect but it worked for me.

I wonder what the Birth Trauma Association hoped this survey would prove? Isn’t it likely to worry women, rather than empower them to take control of their birth experience? If you’re expecting a baby, please don’t let statistics like this frighten you. Sometimes it seems birth horror stories vastly outnumber tales of easy, straightforward deliveries, and while things can and do go wrong in the labour ward and at home, there’s surely no reason why any woman should equate giving birth with a damaging experience. If you’re expecting, talk about your concerns, have a birth partner to hand who understands your fears, hopes, and expectations, and above all else, don’t over-focus on the birth plan at the expense of preparing yourself for the fact that giving birth, like motherhood itself, can be wildly unpredictable.

What do you think? If you’re a mother, did your birth go according to ‘plan’?

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Can Mummy Bloggers change the world?

Technically, according to our oh-so-carefully crafted schedule for Haute Blog, this is meant to be a Fashion Friday, which means we should be regaling you with the hottest style tips and trends for Haute Mamas. But we’ve found a cause worth interrupting our plans for, and infinitely more important than anything we might have to say about fashion.

Did you know that every year almost 9 million children under the age of five die around the world from preventable, poverty-related diseases like diarrhoea?

To my shame, I didn’t know that, which explains why Save the Children thinks it’s time to start an awareness-raising campaign aimed at changing that statistic. So at the start of September three of the UK’s best known Mummy Bloggers will be heading out to Bangladesh to witness first hand the work of Save the Children.

At the end of September Nick Clegg will be at the UN Summit in New York. Ten years ago world leaders set targets, called Millennium Development Goals, to reduce poverty, hunger and disease. At the moment these child health targets are way off track, and Save the Children hope that the mummy bloggers’ trip can help put pressure on leaders to make child mortality and maternal health a priority at the UN Summit.

Ready to flex their multimedia skills to campaign for change, the bloggers will be tweeting, creating video and photo galleries and writing about their experiences live and direct from Bangladesh.

How can you help?

Save the Children says: “We need your voice to make as much noise about this as possible. Follow our bloggers on their journey, read their reports, watch their videos and help us to re-tweet their story. And sign our petition. We’re aiming to collect 100,000 signatures. Ambitious? Yes – but with your help we know we can do it. We want future generations to be stunned to learn that children would die from diarrhoea, malaria or pneumonia. We want to be able to tell that that together, we stopped it.”

Josie, one of the three Mummy Bloggers, has posted this helpful piece for more info on the ways you can support the campaign.

Meet the Mummy Bloggers

Josie at Sleep is for the Weak, Eva at Nixdminx, and Sian at Mummy Tips are the Mummy Bloggers bound for Bangladesh.

Josie George’s blog sleepisfortheweak.org.uk is currently ranked No.1 in the Tots 100 Index of UK Parent Blogs. Josie, 28, began blogging when her son Kai, now 2, was approaching his first birthday after a difficult first year. Her blog now chronicles her many ups and downs as she tries to juggle life as a mother, creative writer and artist, using words and pictures to share her story. Josie also runs a popular weekly writing workshop for other bloggers and is the founder of ‘Judith’s Room’, a supportive online community for women writers, which has seen over 600 new members in its first six months of life.

Sian To, 38, is mum to four children, Ethan, 19, Sonny, 9, Biba, 8, and Betty 6 and has been writing her blog www.mummy-tips.com for 18 months. For the last ten years Sian has been running a specialist parenting PR company and in July this year organised the CyberMummy conference, the first event of its kind for bloggers in the UK.

Two years ago Eva Keogan started her blog when she found herself ‘credit crunched’. She is now a social media consultant and a lifestyle blogger writing about parenting and more, mainly focusing on her life and adventures as a single mum to Miniminx, 10, in London.

The Mummy Bloggers created the hashtag #bloggersforpakistan on Twitter and within hours it had reached 40,000 people. Josie says: “Suddenly there was a buzz which generated awareness. Imagine this ‘buzz’ as a Morse Code, or a cyber smoke signal, if you will – a spark of inspiration quickly ignites a flame of interest. We want to keep this flame burning bright.”

Confession time. I started this blog post with a smidgen of cynicism. These days the power of social media seems like a bandwagon that the blogosphere and all its mummies are jumping on, and I questioned what could really be accomplished by a trip like this. Would the plight of children in poor nations get lost in the hysteria surrounding how sexy we find Twitter? Can Mummy Bloggers really change the world? It’s too early to say — but as I sit here with a cold beer in hand, listening to the comforting chaos of my husband putting our two rosy-cheeked, blooming boys to bed, I can’t shake that statistic from my head. NINE MILLION children under the age of five die every year because of a preventable tummy upset. It’s all too easy to turn away from the horrors of the new these days, and to muffle our ears from the discomfiting facts of global poverty. But if the Mummy Bloggers’ trip succeeds in making us face uncomfortable facts, and encourages us to do something about them, then it’s surely a worthy cause. Can we change the world, one Tweet or blog post at a time?

Let’s hope like crazy that we can.

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Focus Friday: Eating for Two

Official health guidelines published recently indicate that expectant moms who follow traditional advice to ‘eat for two’ during pregnancy face an increased risk of complications in subsequent pregnancies.

The Guardian reports that the view that mothers-to-be should ‘eat for two’ is a myth, and that such advice is likely to make pregnant women gain excess weight that they might find difficult to shift. Gaining even one or two pounds can put you at risk of health complications in subsequent pregnancies, and moms are advised to lose all their baby weight before getting pregnant again.

“A woman’s energy needs only increase in the last three months of pregnancy, the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (Nice) says, and then only by around 200 calories a day – less than an average chocolate bar.”

Dammit. That’ll be why I kissed goodbye to my size 10 skinny jeans when I said hello to my baby boy back in January 2005, then. It seems so cruel to tell me this now, two babies and roughly two stone later. And I don’t know about you but my extra calorie consumption during pregnancy had little to do with the idea that I was supposed to eat for two, and everything to do with the fact that fatigue and nausea only seemed to let up when I gorged myself on carbs. Mind you, five years later that sounds like a lame excuse for the extra inches that are still hanging around.

“But Nice also warns against trying to lose weight too quickly, and says media stories about celebrity claims of ‘unrealistic and rapid weight loss’ after pregnancy were unhelpful. ‘This may create additional pressure on women to lose weight inappropriately at an already stressful time,’ its guidance says. Pregnant women should also be told that moderate physical activity, like cycling to work, will not harm them or their unborn children.”

So we shouldn’t gain weight or eat for two, but we shouldn’t lose weight too quickly either. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. What do you think of the guidelines? Did you eat for two and struggle to lose the baby weight? Does anyone really feel pressure to lose weight after giving birth because of all those post-pregnant skinny celebs? Am I completely alone in seeing those pics as legitimate reason to console myself with another custard cream? Joking aside, how do you really feel about your post-pregnant pounds?

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During pregnancy, even the most glowing expectant mother can find herself at a stage in which it’s all-too-easy to feel less than glamorous. At that point it’s time to indulge in a secret weapon for instant pregnant beauty – luxuriously indulgent skincare.

So what if your favourite jeans might never fit again? Even your shoes might be out of a job if you’re one of the unlucky Moms whose feet increase in size during pregnancy (it can happen) but there’s no need to fret because you can still feel fantastic in your very own birthday suit. And it’s one outfit that we reckon the proud Daddy-to-Be in your life will be only too happy to cast his eye over!

So without further ado here are Haute Mama’s one hit wonders for super-happy pregnant skin – five brilliant beauty products that solve each and every pregnancy problem, and which you’re sure to want to keep using once your bump becomes a baby:

  1. Soothe an Itchy Bump with Belli All Day Body Moisture Body Lotion, which deeply moisturizes, comforts and soothes dry, itchy skin with essential oil of lemon, which is known for its uplifting qualities and aroma-therapeutic ability to calm upset stomachs. Chamomile softens and refreshes. Apply it daily to slightly dampened skin, ideally after a bath or shower, smoothing a small amount over your bump to keep the discomfort at bay.

  2. Relax Tired Feet with Belli’s Foot Relief Cream. It does the trick immediately. The scent is minty, and not at all overwhelming. Haute Mama founder Fiona says “I absolutely love how thick and indulgent this lotion is, but I worried that the consistency might make it difficult to absorb, acting as more of a barrier on my skin. I needn’t have worried as it sunk right in as soon as I applied it, and after only two applications I noticed that were feet were incredibly soft.”

  3. Diminish Spots with Belli’s Acne Clearing Facial Wash. It’s so fabulous that it comes highly recommended by the skincare gurus at Now! Maternity & Baby Magazine. My girlfriend Claire had this to say: So far I’ve been really pleased with Belli’s Acne Clearing Facial Wash. It doesn’t dry me out and it hasn’t caused a flare up of my rosacea. You can use it daily or it can be left on directly as a mask for 5 minutes, I’ve been rotating the 2 approaches. Lastly, I feel really good about all the ingredient screening they do and in the end they still have created a really active wash containing lactic acid that seems to do the job well for me. So if you are in the market for a new acne solution… pregnant or not definitely give this one a try. 

  4. Smooth Rough Skin A full body exfoliation with Belli’s Skin Smoothing Body Exfoliator leaves your skin amazingly smooth. This scrub is very soft & gentle. It’s sugar based and contains just enough oil to be moisturizing, without causing you to slip and fall in the tub! Some of its ingredients include green tea, ginseng and peppermint oil. Finish with Belli’s cult product – Elasticity Oil and you’ll have a recipe for irresistibly silky skin!

  5. Banish Puffy Eyes: You don’t have to be a new mama (but those sleepless nights help!) to enjoy the benefits of Belli Motherhood’s Eye Brightening Cream. If dark circles are your problem, this product can safely get rid of them. Keep the tube in the refrigerator for an extra cool and soothing effect! Safe in pregnancy and when nursing, too.

We’d love to know your skincare secrets. I’ll start by admitting to buying Pond’s cream after hearing that Kylie credited it as the secret to her youthful glow. One month later neither my face (nor my bottom, although I can’t say I tried it there) are any closer to resembling Kylie’s, sadly. Your turn to tell us your skincare secrets!

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