I recently returned to work from maternity leave. I had been off work for about 7 months and honestly, I couldn’t wait to get back into things. I have the luxury of being able to work part time 3 days per week with the added luxury of having my mother as childminder. So, you might say things couldn’t be more perfect.

Can Mum's "Have it all?"

That is until I encountered what every new mother must encounter post pregnancy – the renowned judgemental mommy! In the lead up to my (much anticipated) return to work, I had been asked many, many times if I was dreading going back to work and I, stupidly and honestly, answered that I couldn’t be more excited, that I love my job, I love the focus it gives me, how it’s so demanding and different from being a mother. I soon realised that this is not the answer most people want to hear.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my son and I love being a mother but having that define me for the past 7 months has been difficult. This is absolutely no reflection on full time mothers – I have infinite respect for any woman who devotes all their time and energy to their children. This takes the patience and compassion of a saint in my opinion. So with this in mind, doesn’t a working mum deserve the same respect or perhaps, dare I say, even MORE respect to be able to earn a living, maintain a successful career, juggle the demands of being a mum as well as unconditionally loving and nurturing her child? Hey, I’m only doing this part time and I’m finding it difficult.

A recently published book by Angela Neustatter “A Home for the Heart, Home as the Key to Happiness” extolls the horrors of a working mum against the

Angela Neustatter, Author

virtues of stay-at home mum.  How a working mother is, in effect, damaging her child. But in the days of a recession and on-going financial difficulties for most families, isn’t it now nearly a necessity for women to work?

You have to weigh it up – are you going to damage your children more by being a working mum or should you just stay at home and let them go without new shoes, or books for school or even the most basic human rights like food and heat? 

This argument doesn’t even have to be about money. I know from my own experience that I am a much more contented, balanced person when I can have a break from my son. I can then return to him with more love and appreciation for the bundle of joy that he is. When my husband returned to work after I gave birth he would say jokingly that he would go to work for a break (as any new father with a newborn can appreciate) but now I completely understand where he was coming from.

So the question I need to ask is can you love your child but also love your career. And is the sacrifice that you have to pretend you don’t?

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