Technically, according to our oh-so-carefully crafted schedule for Haute Blog, this is meant to be a Fashion Friday, which means we should be regaling you with the hottest style tips and trends for Haute Mamas. But we’ve found a cause worth interrupting our plans for, and infinitely more important than anything we might have to say about fashion.

Did you know that every year almost 9 million children under the age of five die around the world from preventable, poverty-related diseases like diarrhoea?

To my shame, I didn’t know that, which explains why Save the Children thinks it’s time to start an awareness-raising campaign aimed at changing that statistic. So at the start of September three of the UK’s best known Mummy Bloggers will be heading out to Bangladesh to witness first hand the work of Save the Children.

At the end of September Nick Clegg will be at the UN Summit in New York. Ten years ago world leaders set targets, called Millennium Development Goals, to reduce poverty, hunger and disease. At the moment these child health targets are way off track, and Save the Children hope that the mummy bloggers’ trip can help put pressure on leaders to make child mortality and maternal health a priority at the UN Summit.

Ready to flex their multimedia skills to campaign for change, the bloggers will be tweeting, creating video and photo galleries and writing about their experiences live and direct from Bangladesh.

How can you help?

Save the Children says: “We need your voice to make as much noise about this as possible. Follow our bloggers on their journey, read their reports, watch their videos and help us to re-tweet their story. And sign our petition. We’re aiming to collect 100,000 signatures. Ambitious? Yes – but with your help we know we can do it. We want future generations to be stunned to learn that children would die from diarrhoea, malaria or pneumonia. We want to be able to tell that that together, we stopped it.”

Josie, one of the three Mummy Bloggers, has posted this helpful piece for more info on the ways you can support the campaign.

Meet the Mummy Bloggers

Josie at Sleep is for the Weak, Eva at Nixdminx, and Sian at Mummy Tips are the Mummy Bloggers bound for Bangladesh.

Josie George’s blog sleepisfortheweak.org.uk is currently ranked No.1 in the Tots 100 Index of UK Parent Blogs. Josie, 28, began blogging when her son Kai, now 2, was approaching his first birthday after a difficult first year. Her blog now chronicles her many ups and downs as she tries to juggle life as a mother, creative writer and artist, using words and pictures to share her story. Josie also runs a popular weekly writing workshop for other bloggers and is the founder of ‘Judith’s Room’, a supportive online community for women writers, which has seen over 600 new members in its first six months of life.

Sian To, 38, is mum to four children, Ethan, 19, Sonny, 9, Biba, 8, and Betty 6 and has been writing her blog www.mummy-tips.com for 18 months. For the last ten years Sian has been running a specialist parenting PR company and in July this year organised the CyberMummy conference, the first event of its kind for bloggers in the UK.

Two years ago Eva Keogan started her blog when she found herself ‘credit crunched’. She is now a social media consultant and a lifestyle blogger writing about parenting and more, mainly focusing on her life and adventures as a single mum to Miniminx, 10, in London.

The Mummy Bloggers created the hashtag #bloggersforpakistan on Twitter and within hours it had reached 40,000 people. Josie says: “Suddenly there was a buzz which generated awareness. Imagine this ‘buzz’ as a Morse Code, or a cyber smoke signal, if you will – a spark of inspiration quickly ignites a flame of interest. We want to keep this flame burning bright.”

Confession time. I started this blog post with a smidgen of cynicism. These days the power of social media seems like a bandwagon that the blogosphere and all its mummies are jumping on, and I questioned what could really be accomplished by a trip like this. Would the plight of children in poor nations get lost in the hysteria surrounding how sexy we find Twitter? Can Mummy Bloggers really change the world? It’s too early to say — but as I sit here with a cold beer in hand, listening to the comforting chaos of my husband putting our two rosy-cheeked, blooming boys to bed, I can’t shake that statistic from my head. NINE MILLION children under the age of five die every year because of a preventable tummy upset. It’s all too easy to turn away from the horrors of the new these days, and to muffle our ears from the discomfiting facts of global poverty. But if the Mummy Bloggers’ trip succeeds in making us face uncomfortable facts, and encourages us to do something about them, then it’s surely a worthy cause. Can we change the world, one Tweet or blog post at a time?

Let’s hope like crazy that we can.

• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Linkedin
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend

Official health guidelines published recently indicate that expectant moms who follow traditional advice to ‘eat for two’ during pregnancy face an increased risk of complications in subsequent pregnancies.

The Guardian reports that the view that mothers-to-be should ‘eat for two’ is a myth, and that such advice is likely to make pregnant women gain excess weight that they might find difficult to shift. Gaining even one or two pounds can put you at risk of health complications in subsequent pregnancies, and moms are advised to lose all their baby weight before getting pregnant again.

“A woman’s energy needs only increase in the last three months of pregnancy, the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (Nice) says, and then only by around 200 calories a day – less than an average chocolate bar.”

Dammit. That’ll be why I kissed goodbye to my size 10 skinny jeans when I said hello to my baby boy back in January 2005, then. It seems so cruel to tell me this now, two babies and roughly two stone later. And I don’t know about you but my extra calorie consumption during pregnancy had little to do with the idea that I was supposed to eat for two, and everything to do with the fact that fatigue and nausea only seemed to let up when I gorged myself on carbs. Mind you, five years later that sounds like a lame excuse for the extra inches that are still hanging around.

“But Nice also warns against trying to lose weight too quickly, and says media stories about celebrity claims of ‘unrealistic and rapid weight loss’ after pregnancy were unhelpful. ‘This may create additional pressure on women to lose weight inappropriately at an already stressful time,’ its guidance says. Pregnant women should also be told that moderate physical activity, like cycling to work, will not harm them or their unborn children.”

So we shouldn’t gain weight or eat for two, but we shouldn’t lose weight too quickly either. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. What do you think of the guidelines? Did you eat for two and struggle to lose the baby weight? Does anyone really feel pressure to lose weight after giving birth because of all those post-pregnant skinny celebs? Am I completely alone in seeing those pics as legitimate reason to console myself with another custard cream? Joking aside, how do you really feel about your post-pregnant pounds?

• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Linkedin
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend

During pregnancy, even the most glowing expectant mother can find herself at a stage in which it’s all-too-easy to feel less than glamorous. At that point it’s time to indulge in a secret weapon for instant pregnant beauty – luxuriously indulgent skincare.

So what if your favourite jeans might never fit again? Even your shoes might be out of a job if you’re one of the unlucky Moms whose feet increase in size during pregnancy (it can happen) but there’s no need to fret because you can still feel fantastic in your very own birthday suit. And it’s one outfit that we reckon the proud Daddy-to-Be in your life will be only too happy to cast his eye over!

So without further ado here are Haute Mama’s one hit wonders for super-happy pregnant skin – five brilliant beauty products that solve each and every pregnancy problem, and which you’re sure to want to keep using once your bump becomes a baby:

1. Soothe an Itchy Bump with Belli All Day Body Moisture Body Lotion, which deeply moisturizes, comforts and soothes dry, itchy skin with essential oil of lemon, which is known for its uplifting qualities and aroma-therapeutic ability to calm upset stomachs. Chamomile softens and refreshes. Apply it daily to slightly dampened skin, ideally after a bath or shower, smoothing a small amount over your bump to keep the discomfort at bay.
   
   
2. Relax Tired Feet with Belli’s Foot Relief Cream. It does the trick immediately. The scent is minty, and not at all overwhelming. Haute Mama founder Fiona says “I absolutely love how thick and indulgent this lotion is, but I worried that the consistency might make it difficult to absorb, acting as more of a barrier on my skin. I needn’t have worried as it sunk right in as soon as I applied it, and after only two applications I noticed that were feet were incredibly soft.”
   
   
3. Diminish Spots with Belli’s Acne Clearing Facial Wash. It’s so fabulous that it comes highly recommended by the skincare gurus at Now! Maternity & Baby Magazine. My girlfriend Claire had this to say: So far I’ve been really pleased with Belli’s Acne Clearing Facial Wash. It doesn’t dry me out and it hasn’t caused a flare up of my rosacea. You can use it daily or it can be left on directly as a mask for 5 minutes, I’ve been rotating the 2 approaches. Lastly, I feel really good about all the ingredient screening they do and in the end they still have created a really active wash containing lactic acid that seems to do the job well for me. So if you are in the market for a new acne solution… pregnant or not definitely give this one a try. 
   
   
4. Smooth Rough Skin A full body exfoliation with Belli’s Skin Smoothing Body Exfoliator leaves your skin amazingly smooth. This scrub is very soft & gentle. It’s sugar based and contains just enough oil to be moisturizing, without causing you to slip and fall in the tub! Some of its ingredients include green tea, ginseng and peppermint oil. Finish with Belli’s cult product – Elasticity Oil and you’ll have a recipe for irresistibly silky skin!
   
   
5. Banish Puffy Eyes: You don’t have to be a new mama (but those sleepless nights help!) to enjoy the benefits of Belli Motherhood’s Eye Brightening Cream. If dark circles are your problem, this product can safely get rid of them. Keep the tube in the refrigerator for an extra cool and soothing effect! Safe in pregnancy and when nursing, too.

We’d love to know your skincare secrets. I’ll start by admitting to buying Pond’s cream after hearing that Kylie credited it as the secret to her youthful glow. One month later neither my face (nor my bottom, although I can’t say I tried it there) are any closer to resembling Kylie’s, sadly. Your turn to tell us your skincare secrets!

• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Linkedin
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend

Choosing a name for your baby is surely one of the loveliest aspects of being pregnant. All that leafing through name books, saying them aloud whilst trying to imagine a little personality to match the moniker, and the fun of keeping friends and family guessing as to your choice of name. Not to mention that utterly delicious moment at some stage after the baby is born, in which you finally match your baby’s face to his or her name for the very first time, and settle once and for all on what your child will be called. Magical.

But this week Bounty Parenting Club released a top 20 list of the most unusual baby names and, it has to be said, they’re anything but magical. (Apologies to anyone intending to call their offspring Zowie, Puppy or Ice.)

Faye Mingo, spokeswoman for Bounty said: “It’s great to see parents being creative and wanting their children to stand out from the crowd with more unusual names but there are a few names here that children may find hard to live up to!”

Hmm. Is it really great? More than one in 10 of the parents polled by Bounty said they regret their decision to choose an unusual name, and one in 10 said their child doesn’t like their own name. A further third of parents said they get frustrated that people often struggle to pronounce their child’s name correctly, and a fifth acknowledge their child would probably have an easier ride at school if they had a traditional name like Sarah or James.

The poll also shows that 75 per cent of parents who chose to give their child a traditional name such as Robert, David or Jennifer believe that parents who choose more alternative names are paving the way for their children to be bullied. And six in ten say those who choose wacky names are being selfish and aren’t thinking of the child.

So, without further ado, here are the top 20 most unusual names: Shy, Unity, Bean, Zowie, Puppy, Ice, Victory, Porsche, D’Andre, Denim, Diesel, Armani, Rooney, Bowie, Cobain, Echo, Heaven and Maroon.

And if you’re with child yourself and seeking inspiration, here’s a helpful guide to what NOT to name your baby. But surely naming your baby is one of the domains of life in which no-one else’s opinion should matter? The idea that I ought to have consulted the internet for its wisdom on what not to call my children gets me all irritated. Grrr.

Haute Mama founder Fiona agrees: “The name you choose for your child is such a meaningful and personal decision. What other people think shouldn’t influence you too much. I know of parents who gave each child a name that begins with the same letter. Friends have five girls called Amy, Alison, Anna, Aifric & Aoibhe, and another family opted for Pearl, Ruby, Jade & Amber, all of which are beautiful to me.”

“As for the names of our own children, we found the name Amelia in a baby book and thought it worked well with Rae, which is a family name. I was really keen for her to be known as Amelia-Rae, not just Amelia. I remember when I told one friend the name we had chosen she burst out laughing and said it sounded so ‘hill-billy’! I must admit I was a bit taken aback but I guess she must have been thinking about Billy Ray Cyrus! I was a bit concerned about the name sounding a bit pretentious. Do hyphenated names have that effect on people?! But I was really keen to keep the name ‘Rae’ an integral part of her name. With my son, Quinn, was the only boys name we could agree on. We had the idea that an Irish name would be nice, but one which my husband’s Canadian family could spell. So Quinn it was. Of course, shortly thereafter I got addicted to Glee where the lead pregnant teen is called Quinn. My husband was unimpressed!”

We’ve been debating if there’s a gender issue here too. Do girls somehow ‘get away’ with less conventional names compared to boys? Plus many girls’ names that might be considered unusual these days are actually quite traditional names from a bygone era. Think flower-inspired names like Poppy, Lily and Dahlia.

Possibly the best piece of advice I’ve heard on the subject of naming your baby is to imagine what your chosen name looks like on a CV, aged 25 applying for a job.

What do you think? Did you choose an unconventional name for your child and if so, why? Do you agree that an unusual name can single a child out as a potential victim for bullies? And most importantly of all, has anyone ever actually met a child called Shy or Puppy?!

• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Linkedin
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend

Welcome to Friday!

That means it time for another Fashion Friday post here on the Haute Mama blog. We’d normally used that as the perfect excuse to indulge ourselves in a little style and fashion chat, tailor made for expectant and new Moms, but there’s a whole new fashion gripping Moms and Moms-to-be and this week it has captured our attention.

According to this article over at the Cafe Mom blog, The Stir, the latest fashion accessory for those with child is an ever-up-to date Twitter stream, perfectly sychronised with a Facebook status that charts your baby’s every move, from the in-utero kicks and rolls to exactly how many stitches he or she warranted on exit.

The blog quotes an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer:

‘At 32 weeks pregnant, Putz was admitted to the hospital to monitor the baby and she let everyone know it too. “Just had an ultrasound and my little man is already approx. 4lb 10oz at 32 weeks! He is getting big!!!!” — 13 of her Facebook friends “liked” her status almost immediately.’

The piece also recounts the advent of a new social media application called My Pregnancy, which allows people to track all the details of your baby’s in-utero existence. Brrrr. I actually shivered as I wrote that. It just strikes me as kind of creepy. I’m an old fashioned gal at heart and I can’t shake the feeling that pregnancy happens on the inside for a reason – not on the outside as an appendage for the world to prod and scrutinise. Once upon a time pregnancy used to be a mysterious and secretive process – remember the days when parents-to-be saw the 20-week scan as an opportunity to check that their baby was developing healthily, not as an indicator for whether they should paint the nursery pink or blue?! Or when all we really knew about a developing unborn child was that they took 9 months to be ready for the world, before the advent of those faintly terrifying week-by-week emails you can get from parenting websites which delight in telling you that this week your baby is developing teeth! And is the size of a small apple! Shriek! And brrr again. Am I the only person who spent that week of my pregnancy haunted by visions of giving birth to an apple with teeth? And while I’m on the subject, WHY do they choose to equate the size of your baby with food? One week I distinctly remember reading that my baby was just big enough to fit inside a teacup, and I just couldn’t stomach my usual beloved cuppa without the fear that a small child might be lurking at the bottom.

I digress. The Stir also recounts the story of another couple who added this eye-watering detail to their Facebook pages on the arrival of their baby: “…the baby weighs 8lbs 11oz and 21 1/4 long, NO WONDER that hurt & I needed tons of stitches!”

I tend to think I overshare on Facebook and often regret it. Somehow Twitter is easier to navigate as I generally use it for work and it’s just easier to keep personal updates well, personal, and keep Twitter strictly business. Fiona, founder of Haute Mama and mum of two says this:

“I am a late bloomer when it comes to following the Facebook fashion. I’ve always used Facebook for business but since starting up a personal account, I’m pleasantly surprised how lovely it is to touch base with some old friends. It hasn’t been the productivity drain I feared it might be. Plus, I think Facebook is a great outlet for new moms in need of some social interaction with other grown ups who otherwise may be facing a day ahead with no time speaking to another adult.”

She’s eloquent, isn’t she? I have to say I can’t disagree with a word of that.

So what do you think? Is it somehow inappropriate to blog your way through birth, or make your baby’s personal life public before he or she is even born? Does it irk you if the first you know of a friend’s impending parenthood is that they change their profile pic to an oh-so-subtle snap of a pregnancy test? Or is this just pregnancy and parenthood 21st-century style?

Oh, and did we mention that you can follow Haute Mama on Facebook and Twitter?!

• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Linkedin
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend

First there was Too Posh To Push – the elite set of Mums, led by the likes of Liz Hurley and Victoria Beckham, who opted to give birth to their babies by elective c-section, not for medical reasons but simply because, well, they were supposedly too posh to push. Now it looks like we’re about to witness the emergence of a whole new category of celebrity-inspired parenting: Too Famous To Feed.

Celeb mum Denise Van Outen is the poster girl for this new movement. She gave up breastfeeding after three weeks according to an interview published in the current edition of SHE magazine. DvO, who gave birth to daughter Betsy in May, reportedly said: ”I probably should have persevered a bit longer than three weeks. But I’ve had paparazzi sat outside every day since I had her and I can’t be sitting in Starbucks and breastfeeding, because they’re taking pictures.”

Er, that would be the same Denise Van Outen who seemed to spend most of the ’90’s posing scantily-clad for lads magazines? Oh look, and who repeated the experience just recently with Melanie Sykes, to publicise her role as host of The Five O’Clock Show on Channel 4. And the very same woman who thought nothing of working out with a personal trainer in a very public park in front of the paparazzi just weeks before she gave birth. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be papped discreetly nursing a newborn than stripped to my undies or panting my way round a park in jogging pants.

Now let’s get one thing straight. We’re not having a go at Denise for giving up breastfeeding. According to SHE she also hinted at other factors which influenced her decision to switch to bottle-feeding, saying she wasn’t producing enough milk and that her husband, Lee, wanted to be able to feed their daughter too. The last thing a new Mum needs is to be criticised or judged for her decisions – coping with a newborn is a monumental challenge on its own, without anyone sticking their oar in and telling you you’re doing it wrong. Far be it from us to bitch about breastfeeing vs bottle-feeding. As long as you feed your baby, you’re doing your job as far as we’re concerned.

What irks us about this storm (in a bra cup) is the idea that being seen breastfeeding is something to be embarrassed about. Um, hello? Has no-one told Denise about Haute Mama’s range of nursing covers and ponchos? We’re feeling feisty over the fact that breastfeeding has been getting a bad press of late. It’s neither creepy nor impractical and while women who really ought to know better keep implying that it is, scores of new mums are probably being put off breastfeeding altogether. And that’s no better than bullying or guilt-tripping them into it. We’d like to see some balance in the breastfeeding debate, and we’d love to hear celeb mums extolling its virtues and talking about it like it’s a normal part of motherhood.

Denise is also quoted as saying: “Another time, I was at the back of a really long queue at the Post Office to get Betsy a passport, knowing that in the next half-hour she was going to wake up and cry, wanting a feed.” Most new mums have been there, and it must be seriously horror-inducing when you’ve got the added factor of strangers scrutinising your every reaction just because you’re a celeb, but maybe there’s also something to be said for the days of the babymoon, when new mums prioritised languishing at home, getting to know their new bundles instead of dashing off to Starbucks or the Post Office. We’re not saying mums should be housebound – I was out having coffee within 24 hours of having my second baby and felt all the more human for being able to do so – but I sometimes wonder if we’re just way too keen to resume normal life, and too reluctant to slow down long enough to treasure our new life with a newborn. After all, Starbucks will probably always be there. Our babies won’t.

• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Linkedin
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend

Here at Haute Mama we like to stay one step ahead of all that is happening in the world of maternity style and fashion. We scour the earth (especially the Stateside part of it) for the loveliest looks, cutest of creations, and most delightful designs for Moms and babies. So you can probably imagine our reaction when we happened upon this truly unusual maternity dress.

Created by Marisol Rodriguez, a Brooklyn-based industrial designer, the dress draws inspiration from origami and is designed to grow along with your baby bump. Rodriquez uses a Japanese paper cutting effect to expand organic cotton fabric, revealing a hidden layer that covers your modesty while highlighting blooming bellies. Handmade by unemployed older women in the designer’s native Columbia, the dresses ($35) are only available through their local factory at this time.

An impassioned debate has been raging about the expandable maternity dress all week at Haute Mama Towers. Fiona, the original Haute Mama and creative genius behind the boutique, can’t stop laughing at the thing, while I’m secretly enamoured with it. No doubt division is good for our camp, and our little disagreement is part of why we make such a winning team but for the sake of a harmonious life we’ve got to ask: What do you think? Is Fiona failing to see something wonderful in this design, or has Heidi (that’s me) finally lost her marbles for falling in love with a dress which is basically crotch-less knickers mixed with maternity wear? Would you wear this dress? Heck, we might even go crazy and send you one if you think it’s the answer to an expectant Mom’s dreams!

I was at a friend’s 40th birthday when Fiona emailed me a picture of this little number. Best of all (or worst of all, actually, depending on your perspective) earlier at the party a friend had come rushing up to me when I arrived and said ‘You’re with child?!’ and I cracked up laughing (because I’m not, just clearly in need of much more running and far fewer buns) but she thought I was being funny – you know, was really pregnant but was teasing her by pretending not to be so that she would feel bad about her faux pas so our little awkward moment went on for AGES with her saying YOU ARE! and me laughing like a maniac and saying I’M NOT! until eventually she realised I wasn’t joking and was so embarrassed she nearly cried! And there was I thinking my groovy smock-dress-over-jeans look was kind of flattering – WRONG! So – all of that is to say that my figure and my sense of style could well leave a thing or three to be desired, and I might not be best judge of whether this dress is a must-have for Moms, or something to be avoided at all costs. Maybe I just like it because it would, er, hide a multitude of sins!

So please, settle this once and for all and give us your verdict… is it haute? Or not?

• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Linkedin
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend

On a rainy day on the Emerald Isle, it can be tempting to assume that motherhood must be easier somewhere sunny. But is it really? For the first 18 months of her daughter’s life, our very own original Haute Mama was a Stateside Mom. So here at Haute Mama Towers we decided to grill her about the experience, to find out whether American Moms have it easier than their Irish counterparts. All those sunkissed celeb Moms make it look so easy! She even asked her friends what they thought…

Originally from Cork, Jill is a Mom who now calls San Francisco home. Her verdict on whether life is different for Moms Stateside? Location, location, location. She said; “I think that there might be a significant difference depending on where in the US you’re talking about. For example, a Mom in the SF/Bay Area, NY, or Boston is going to have a really different experience than a Mom in the Mid-West of America.” (We’re going to hazard a guess and assume the former might be, um, more fun.)

So what about the age-old Working Mom vs. Stay At Home Mum debate? Does one side of the camp have it easier on the other side of the pond? Jill reckons that all depends how wealthy you are and where you live. She says; “I find Moms generally biased to being Stay-At-Home-Moms, but the colleagues that I work with obviously chose to live here in the Bay area, and to work. There is a great support mechanism for working Moms. There are magazines available for free on Parenting, and on resources for kids activities, plus Moms clubs for each local area. I also have supportive bosses, and daycare based at my workplace – although this isn’t common, we are spoiled with that!”

Jill also rates the urgent care Stateside for after-hours visits to the doctor. “Provided you have good medical coverage,” she adds. “I can’t imagine how tough it must be without it here.”

But it’s not all sunshine and doughnuts for LA Moms. Jill admits that she misses her  family – that trusted support network we can all too easily take for granted – and her friends, specifically ones from her childhood who are somewhat more accessible from Ireland.

Jill adds, “On the prospect of moving home to Ireland, what I don’t imagine I’ll miss is the lack of parks and museums in Cork. They are two-a-penny here in the Bay Area. It’s just incredible the amount of options we have each morning (when I’m not working).”

Anything else she’ll miss? I’ll give you a guess. It starts with ’s’ and ends with ‘unshine’!

Saoirse is a Mom from from Galway, currently living in Florida. She finds baby-friendly facilities far superior in the US. “I was stunned when I came home with my baby girl and realized that it was near impossible to find a spacious, clean facility to change and nurse my little one. I know that the lack of malls in Ireland means that these facilities simply do not exist but I found the café’s and restaurants on trips home grossly inadequate.”

Claire, a Mom from Mayo, now living in Boston, can live without the baby facilities in malls at home in Ireland as she doesn’t get out shopping often with three little lovelies at home. But since she relies on online shopping to send gifts to her nieces, nephew and the children of friends, she finds the lack of online stores for children and babies frustrating. (Obviously Haute Mama solves all those problems for her, and with a wonderful gift-wrapping service thrown in!)

Kate, a Mom from Dublin, now living in Connecticut, finds the biggest difference between Irish and US moms is apparent within the first five minutes of conversation. “Within 5 minutes of meeting an Irish mom the chat is usually on something like whether it’s ok to have a half glass of wine while nursing. Within 5 minutes of meeting a US mom I’m intimately aware of the details of her episiotomy. I find American moms to be far less self-conscious. Not always in a good way though!”

So there you have it. Life might be sunnier for Moms in the States but what they gain in terms of facilities and sunshine, they sacrifice in terms of the family life, craic, and altogether Irishness of life on the Emerald Isle. Maybe we could come to some arrangement with our US counterparts on the sunshine? You send us some of that, and we’ll send you some sunny Irish charm and cheer…

• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Linkedin
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend

Welcome to another Fashion Friday, Haute Mamas! Today’s theme, drum roll please, is …. BOOBS! There, we said it. Boob. Oops, and again. They just keep slipping out.

Ahem. In a bid to raise this discussion out of the realms of a Carry On film, let’s get back to the subject in hand. Boobs, and more specifically, breastfeeding. Not exactly a fashion statement, but not far off. If there’s one subject guaranteed to divide worldwide Moms it’s breastfeeding. One minute we’re all making like Cyndi Lauper and belting out Girls Just Wanna Have Fun together, the next someone inadvertently draws an invisible line and makes us feel that we have to choose which side to stand in the Breast v Bottle Debate, and it’s all hair-pulling, name-calling and scratching. Silly, really, since we’re all Mom with children whose lives depend on us, so you’d think we’d act a little more like grown-ups.

But we’re not even referring to the age-old nappy-bags-at-dawn Breast v Bottle debate, although both sides of that issue deserve a post all of their own. But not today. No, we’re talking about getting your boobs out in public. Right or wrong? (Er, please restrict your comment to boob-baring in the context of feeding babies. What you get up to on date night is up to you.)

It’s an age-old issue too, isn’t? Barely a few months go by without a story hitting the media along the vague lines that a Mom has been merrily breastfeeding her child in public, only to have ended up on the receiving end of a withering look or a mouthful of abuse… and wasn’t there even a story once about some guy pouring a bucket of water all over a breastfeeding Mom? I was afraid to look that one up in Google so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

So where to start? Well, breastfeeding isn’t easy, as our very own Head Haute Mama can testify. She had these illuminating words to share on the subject – in fact we had to remind her to pause for air – but if you’re yet to attempt to keep another human being alive entirely through virtue of your nipples, you might want to skip this bit and come back to it when it’s less likely to put you off…

“When I was first getting to grips with breastfeeding there was only one helpful thing anyone could have said that I hadn’t already heard. It was this: ‘I have access to morphine. What’s your address?’ I was willing to try anything. I detested breastfeeding and yet felt entirely pressured to endure the excruciating pain and persevere with it. After 6 weeks we were told to see a lactation consultant. It actually kind of worked but at that stage I think I had become immune to the searing pain. As we walked away from the doctor’s office Haute Dada said to me, ‘I can’t believe we’ve just paid 450 bucks to teach our kid how to suck.’”

Whatever your views on breasfteeding, and whether you share Fiona’s eye-watering experience or not, manipulating your post-partum Jordan-esque boobs into your baby’s tiny ravenous gaping mouth has to be one of the most ridiculous experiences of early motherhood. Like childbirth itself, it’s as though someone got their geometry all wrong when working out what could fit where, and how. It seems like breastfeeding should be easy, but it’s not, which must be partly why so many Moms end up feeling like abject failures if they reach for the bottle. Er, the bottle of formula milk, that is. (Reaching for the valium or gin when you’re a new Mom is so much more socially acceptable.)

And even if you get the logistics to work and everything functions properly, you’ve then got to work out how to free those milky beasts without committing a public act of indecency. That takes serious thought and practice. I vividly remember only being able to breastfeed if I was virtually starkers in the first few days, and it seemed so terribly cruel that just as I’d managed to find three spare minutes in which to shower and get dressed, I then had to work out how to undress myself in order to get the All Day Milk Bar open before the baby exploded from hunger. I’m exhausted just remembering all this.

Thankfully, clothes designers have come a long way in those five years, and there’s now a really fabulous choice when it comes to nursing bras, breastfeeding tops, and gorgeous but discreet nursing covers. Back in the day, my best friend and I thought we were utter goddesses when we realised that if we just wore a vest underneath a normal top, we could pop up the top and latch the baby on without having to inflict our muffin tops on the world. That was all well and good until summer, when additional layers on a breastfeeding Mom are pure torture, and don’t even get me started on the day I wore a dress to a wedding and only realised half way through the ceremony that the only way to feed my screaming baby was to lift my dress above my chest.

Whatever your views on breastfeeding, and regardless of whether you believe in your right to bare all in the name of yourchild’s nutritional needs, or prefer a more modest approach to getting the baby fed, the one thing that is guaranteed to make the experience of feeding your child easier is if you feel at ease. So we reckon that’s all that really counts. Get your boobs out if that works, and defend your right to do so. We’d be really surprised if anyone gives you grief and if they do, there’s a point to be made that they’re the ones with the skewed idea of what boobs are for, and thus when they should be seen. It makes me laugh that few people complain about objectification of women when they’re surrounded by a media which insists on dressing women in as few clothes as people – so it strikes me as absurd that anyone’s got the audacity to complain about a woman using her breasts to feed her child, which is arguably what the Good Lord created them for in the first place. Phew, rant over. Equally, if you’re happier covering up and prefer not to be noticed, invest in some lovely cover-ups and then the world is your oyster.

I think I knew I’d arrived as a breastfeeding Mom when I replied to an email with a glass of wine in hand, all while feeding the babe. Like almost everything associated with motherhood, breastfeeding gets easier. But the first step is going easier on yourself.

• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Linkedin
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend

Oh, how we squirmed and giggled here at Haute Mama HQ when we recently stumbled across this little gem of a clip on You Tube.

It’s all about the Marshmallow test – an experiment devised by Walter Meschel in 1960 to determine a child’s impulsivity, or capacity to cope with the concept of delayed gratification.

The premise is simple, if excruciating. You give a child a single marshmallow and explain that you’re leaving the room for 20 minutes. If they haven’t eaten it by the time you come back, you’ll give them another one. Alternatively, they can eat the marshmallow straight away but if they do so, they won’t get a second one. The child who resists temptation is rewarded with the gooey goods in the form of a second marshmallow, while the child who can’t wait gets only one.

The point? Apparently the way a child responds to this test at the age of 4 years old determines how they’ll cope with bigger challenges later in life. Mischel found that 100% of the children who resisted the urge to eat the marshmallow did well at school, while 80% of those who were overcome by temptation and settled for the instant gratification of a single marshmallow had problems paying attention at school and maintaining friendships with their peers.

Cue yet more parental paranoia here at Haute Mama Towers. We are a little freaked out at the notion that our offspring might be destined to a life of haphazard impulsivity, unable to wait for ANYTHING, if they don’t pass this test. The lovely Fiona, the original Haute Mama, confessed thusly: “I kind of convinced myself that my daughter probably wouldn’t pass this test because of the pesky marshmallow.  She has her father’s focus when she’s working on something (Daddy is an optical engineer – yawn) but she is completely her mother’s daughter when it comes to sweet things. I have no willpower when it comes to candy (especially those gummy snakes, mmm) and yet I’ve turned out reasonably well adjusted (?) and can wait for lots of other things, and even enjoy the anticipation that comes with waiting. So perhaps she’ll turn out fine after all. Albeit with a sweet tooth.”

What do you think? Would your child dive right in, sacrificing the loss of a second marshmallow for the joy of an instant sugar hit, no matter how short-lived? Or would your little one restrain themselves by any means necessary in order to buy a double dose of deliciousness? And does it really matter? You could argue that the child who lacks control over their impulses when it comes to sweet treats is simply a pleasure-seeker, destined not to a life of doom but to one of spontaneity and fun. We know plenty of adults who have even less control over their impulses than the kids in that video, and yet they’re often the life and soul of the party – the people everyone loves hanging out with. So maybe self-control is over-rated?

We haven’t had the heart to try this on the Haute Mama offspring yet – it seems a little cruel – and we’re not sure how we’d fare under such test conditions either. What’s that you say? How would we like a G&T with ice and a slice right this very second? Or two, if we’re prepared to sit and stare at the first one for half an hour. Now that’s what we call an agonising decision.

What would you do? And do you think the ability to delay gratification really matters?

Picture credit: D Sharon Pruitt

• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Linkedin
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend